Mediocre, At Best

I am not sure how it is where you live, in your town, in your part of the world, but here in my part it can be like one big contest. It is like there is a running tally of who is winning it all. It might not really be that way, but it sure does feel that way a lot of the time.

I've talked before about the whole keeping up with the Joneses thing. How I try so hard to not get wrapped up in the what other people have and what other people are doing and instead truly focus on what is best for my family, for myself. Sometimes it is just so damn hard not to get sucked in, chewed up and then swallowed whole by the damn Joneses. Nobody really likes them anyway, why must I keep running head on with the dreamy idea of them?

There are a million things you can compare yourselves to others about. You breastfed your baby for 2 years, you make your own organic baby food from vegetables you grew yourself in the backyard AND your child is gifted, made the best soccer team and you already have your European vacation planned for summer? Well, la ti da. 

I know this sounds over the top and completely ridiculous, and it is, except it really isn't all the time. I know women who are like this. I don't even dislike them, I admire them, but mostly I am nothing like them.

The truth? My kids had a hot dog for lunch, are most likely wearing some piece of clothing they wore yesterday and I had a 20 minute battle with my eldest child over his math homework EVERY NIGHT THIS PAST WEEK.

My house is usually in shambles where you will find some sort of dirty laundry on a floor in at least one room and there is sure to be pee on something near the toilet in the bathroom with dog hair scattered throughout the house for good measure. It is not tidy or perfect, but it is lived in and there is always a blanket on the couch perfect for snuggling (if you don't mind the dog hair on it.)

I go through stages where I find myself comparing myself, my house, my children, my LIFE to other people and it does nothing but stress me out. I need to keep reminding myself I am not them. I might not ever be the mom that makes fancy dinners or has it all together all the time. I will most likely always be the mom running into hockey yelling at my kid to hurry up because we're late while I am wearing my workout clothes from my visit to the gym hours earlier (if you've ever been to a hockey rink you know no one can tell if I smell bad...the whole place stinks.) I do the best I can. Sometimes I wish I did better. Sometimes I wish I was more like them.

My friends & sisters always joke with each other when one of us screws up as a parent by calling them out as "Mother of the Year." I am not trying to be mother of the year...I'm striving for mediocre mother. I'd be happy with just above average.

At the end of the day my kids are fed, clean (or clean enough), safe and above all, loved. I'll take that as a win in my book.


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