Too Much Talking

Have you ever had someone tell you something, like sharing a deep dark secret or just an embarrassing story, that you wish they never would have told you? It is as if people sometimes forget that once you tell someone something, once you actually let the words slip from your lips, you can't take them back.

There is no do-over once you let the words fly.

Instead the listener is left with the words in their head, thinking about what you said over and over, wishing they didn't know what they know. Wishing they never heard what you said. Wishing you wouldn't have over-shared.

I think people tend to tell too much for many reasons. Maybe they are really comfortable with you and trust you to be a good listener without judging (hard to do, people judge others even if it is unintentional.) They could also spill the beans because they have had too much to drink - it seems alcohol always causes people to open up, to over share. It isn't until the next day, while nursing a hangover, that you think to yourself, Oh shit, what did I say last night?

I also think people tend to tell all when they trust you so completely that they really believe that no matter what they might say, you will feel the same way about them.

I have had people tell me things about themselves, their marriages, their family life or sex life that I wish I didn't know. Not because I don't like the person telling me, but because I can't think of them without thinking of the things they said, the words they shared. Some stories are obviously way worse than others. Some just literally get stuck in your head and haunt you.

The thing is that you may adore the person doing the talking, but then be so wrapped up in what they said that you can't help but look at them differently. You just can't get past what they told you and you don't know how to process it, how to make yourself unhear it.

I am pretty certain everyone is guilty of over-sharing at some point in their lives. It happens to the best of us, but making sure what you saying is not too much is key. Next time you are sharing your deep, dark secrets, or when you are rambling on and on after a few two many drinks, remember that sometimes saying nothing is better than saying too much.

The key is finding the balance of just enough said.

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