Big Time

This. Seriously, this happened this week.

This is the first day of school. I know what all you fellow parents are thinking. Praise Jesus! School! Don't get me wrong, I am too, but this wasn't just a normal ho-hum first day of school. This was Joey's, my baby's,  first day of Kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN. That might as well be college in my delusional head.

There is so much prep for school to start, all the supplies, new backpacks, fancy new shoes and haircuts. We talked about it for weeks and then when it was here, I was like Whoa, slow the heck down. What's the rush? Getting back to a routine is great, early bedtimes mean more kid-free time on the couch for me each night, but then the trade off is - lunches. No one likes making lunches.

Then the day came and it was so exciting and boy, was this kid ready. I asked if he was nervous, no. I asked if he was sad he'd be away from me at school each day, nope. He was totally and completely fine with going. This was so unlike Jack's feelings about kindergarten that I was partially relieved and a little sad. What kind of kid isn't a little nervous on the first day of school?

Just as predicted, he waved, said see ya and walked right in. I tried to sneak one last hug and kiss and he kinda swatted me away because, Mom, people are watching! 

I couldn't help but tear up. I mean, this is it. This is my baby walking into his first day of kindergarten and I will never have another kid starting kindergarten. I may or may not have been the mom hiding by the tree crying with oversized sunglasses on. It is all downhill from here. I know all too well that the time is flying by.

Like the famous quote says, the days are long but the years are short. This statement sums up my life as a parent. I find myself struggling each day with the ins and outs of raising these boys. They make me crazy each day only after reminding me in some way, no matter how small, how much I adore them.

On the same day Joey walked into school for the first time, Jack headed into 2nd grade like he was an upperclassman. He admitted to being a little nervous, because that's the kind of kid he is. Unsure until he gets in there and sees what something is all about. He walked in a little apprehensive and walked out like he owned the school. He just seems so grown up to me.

As much as every parent loves when their kids head back to school, there is always a sadness with the first day of school in terms of it reminding us that another year is starting. Another year is quickly slipping away. I'm hanging on tight to these two.

Happy first day of school!

Too Much Talking

Have you ever had someone tell you something, like sharing a deep dark secret or just an embarrassing story, that you wish they never would have told you? It is as if people sometimes forget that once you tell someone something, once you actually let the words slip from your lips, you can't take them back.

There is no do-over once you let the words fly.

Instead the listener is left with the words in their head, thinking about what you said over and over, wishing they didn't know what they know. Wishing they never heard what you said. Wishing you wouldn't have over-shared.

I think people tend to tell too much for many reasons. Maybe they are really comfortable with you and trust you to be a good listener without judging (hard to do, people judge others even if it is unintentional.) They could also spill the beans because they have had too much to drink - it seems alcohol always causes people to open up, to over share. It isn't until the next day, while nursing a hangover, that you think to yourself, Oh shit, what did I say last night?

I also think people tend to tell all when they trust you so completely that they really believe that no matter what they might say, you will feel the same way about them.

I have had people tell me things about themselves, their marriages, their family life or sex life that I wish I didn't know. Not because I don't like the person telling me, but because I can't think of them without thinking of the things they said, the words they shared. Some stories are obviously way worse than others. Some just literally get stuck in your head and haunt you.

The thing is that you may adore the person doing the talking, but then be so wrapped up in what they said that you can't help but look at them differently. You just can't get past what they told you and you don't know how to process it, how to make yourself unhear it.

I am pretty certain everyone is guilty of over-sharing at some point in their lives. It happens to the best of us, but making sure what you saying is not too much is key. Next time you are sharing your deep, dark secrets, or when you are rambling on and on after a few two many drinks, remember that sometimes saying nothing is better than saying too much.

The key is finding the balance of just enough said.