Catching Up

It has been awhile, I know. I hate not writing on a semi-reuglar basis because in all honesty it is good for me. This here little blog is a form of therapy for me. Taking the time to hash out all the shit running through my head is usually just what I need to get my attitude adjusted and head clear.

Last time I wrote I shared the story of the recent flooding and how that affected our lives and I also wrote about our incredible friends that stepped us and showered us with so, so much love. An update on all that is...we are still not back to normal. We have walls, they are painted and we finally just got a working dryer, but we are still without a finished floor in the family room. This sucks because it is a mess down there but then again, even if there was a floor I wouldn't be putting my stuff down there so it isn't really going to matter to me one way or another. We are still living out of a few boxes / bins and are literally packed into the non-flooded living space in the house.

We had an interview with FEMA workers and they denied us within hours. It turns out FEMA doesn't really care about 99% of the stuff you lost and I feel like I had my hopes up thinking they would offer us some help. I really, really hope they are more supportive of families that lived through storms like Sandy and the devastation like the OK tornados because they did nothing for us. So we are slowly replacing the things that we lost that are replaceable. I would be lying if I said I wasn't still sad about the things we lost that I just can't get back. Slowly but surely we are recovering.

The house hunt has been kind of slow and we found a house, put an offer on it (along with a bazillion other people) and didn't get the house. Bank owned properties suck to bid on since there is literally no negotiating. Needless to say, we were really disappointed - again. The search continues. It is hard because we live in a community when a lot of the houses are over $500,000 on average. A friend called me the other day to tell me about a house that was on the market in our area and when I looked up the listing I learned the house was $724,000. What is even more difficult is having to say to my friend that the house was over our budget and her seeming shocked that it was.

Jason and I don't agree on everything but one thing we do agree 100% on is NOT being house-broke. We want a nice house, and I am certain we will find one someday, but we will not buy a house that will require us to be broke paying for it. I want to be able to buy clothes and shoes and take vacations. Yes, I want a nice house too but that means I will have to settle for a nice house that isn't almost a million dollars. We have a lot of friends who have houses that are in that price range so it can be hard to explain that we can't find a house because we can't just afford everything on the market. I will admit there are days this depresses me because then I end up wishing I had what other people have. This is not a healthy way to live.

I have been stuck in the bitter barn lately. We have had plenty of struggles and I can't help but feel a bit defeated by them. I have just had enough and would really love for something to go our way. In the meantime I am trying hard to not feel resentful for what others have and trying to remind myself that although things aren't perfect right now, I am blessed with what I do have. I know that just because someone lives in a fancy house and drives a new car doesn't mean that they aren't fighting their own battles or going broke doing it. We may not have it all, but we are damn lucky for what we do have. So I am working through all that crap and hopefully we get a little luck our way soon.

The boys had their last days of school last week and they were bittersweet. I can not believe Joey is done with Preschool. We have made some incredible friends because of that school and I feel very sad leaving. I am thankful that we had amazing teachers there to get the boys ready to move on to Kindergarten. Joey is going to be a rockstar next year, thanks to those amazing ladies.

I expected Jack to come flying out of school, thrilled summer break was starting. Instead, he came out with his head down seeming sad. By the time he got in the car, there were tears. This is what happens when you have an amazing teacher, the kids don't want school to end because they don't want a new teacher! My 7 year old boy wanted school to go on because he doesn't want a new teacher next year. I wish everyone was as lucky as we were this past year with Jack's 1st grade teacher. She is one of the best, hands down.

So now summer is underway and I am trying hard to not want to kill the boys already, but they might be driving me a little crazy already. Thankfully we start our schedule of summer sports camps, nature camps and the much anticipated super fun Brookfield Zoo camp this week.. These boys have taught me the busier they are, the better off we will all be. Bored boys = whining, fighting, making mom crazy boys. If you add in our baseball schedules and trips up north, we are staying busy.

I think that is all that is new with us...oh yeah, Sugar. Her and I have been attending advanced dog training class and she is pretty much an asshole every week in class. She listens 85% of the time for Jason at home and about 10% of the time for me. She has perfected flipping me off before running away from me. God help me, but I will train this damn dog if it is the last thing I do. Her training test is Wednesday, so wish us luck. Also, I have already got my name on the list to repeat the class. Yeah, she's a special one!

One last thing, since moving I think I have gained almost 10lbs, which sucks because that's the crap that is a bitch to lose. So in addition to my workout schedule, I am thinking of getting my (horrific) diet back on track with the 3-Day Military Diet. It sounds brutal and involves me starving, I am pretty sure, so we'll see if I can swing it. I know I will have to modify it some because it involves eating both tuna and hot dogs and let's be honest, I would rather be chubby than eat those things. Anyone else ever try this diet? Just curious how bad it sucked...

Okay, that's all for now! I missed this and feel better already. Thanks, friends!

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