The Ex-Factor

I recently read an article about a woman talking about how she was so focused on what her ex-boyfriend thought of her. It was based on this woman wanting to lose weight so when she saw her ex at her high school reunion she could maybe get a second chance with him (never mind the fact that the lady was married.)

This got me thinking, do people really do this? Focus on their ex's and pine away for second chances with them? I can sort of understand wanting to lose weight before a high school reunion as much as I can understand wanting to lose weight before getting married, etc. I try and stay in shape so others don't think I'm a fat ass, this is true. No one wants people to think they look bad. The last thing you want is to leave your HS reunion and have people talking about how bad you looked or how much weight you've gained. That is a no-brainer even if it does have zero to do with your happiness. But, if you think for one minute that I am running my butt off (literally) each week so my ex boyfriends are impressed with the way I look, you are completely wrong. I run mile after mile so I feel good about myself and so my husband thinks I'm hot (or at least hot enough for him.) I could care less if my boyfriend from high school or college think I am fat or skinny or whatever.

I guess the idea of thinking about the woulda, coulda, shoulda's in terms of old relationships is insane to me. There is a reason those relationships didn't work out in the first place. Sure, there were plenty of times when I was devastated that things didn't work out. I was no different than any other heartbroken girl would've been, but after the fog of the break-up passed, there was no looking back. I never waited for any guy to come back to me or for a second chance. I am good enough for one chance - if the guys back then couldn't see that the first time around then I really didn't want to be with them then or now.

I still occasionally see or talk to some of the guys I dated back in the day (that is what old married people say) and I can honestly say I am so thankful things didn't work out. I'm so thankful they weren't the one. I look at where some of them are now and what they are doing with their lives and I am more certain than ever that my life is better without them. I don't want that to sound mean, but it's the truth. I can't even imagine who I would be or what my life would be like with them. I would hope they are happy in their lives. If I would've given any of them a second chance, or went to a reunion looking to impress them so they would want me back, then that would mean I wouldn't have had a first chance with my husband. Truth is, my husband puts all those other guys to shame.

There is something to be said for unanswered prayers. I would like to think everyone would value themselves more than trying to be someone second chance.