If I Didn't Have Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck At All

I get that everyone has bad days. I understand how a bad day can quickly spiral downhill into a bad week. I know the feeling of the never-ending bad mood that a person can get stuck in like a quicksand you just continue to sink lower and lower in.

I also know good days; great days even, where all is well in my world. My kids are healthy and listening, the weather is sunny, there is no pee on the bathroom floor and I feel blessed for all I have.

Then the universe steps in and smacks me off my happy high horse.

The past couple of weeks have been trying. It started with Jason getting the stomach flu on Thanksgiving and leaving my Mom’s without a single bite of dinner, then his Dad being hospitalized days later and continued to progressively decline from there.

The quicksand just started to pull us in. Slowly we were sinking.

We were thrown into a situation we had no control over but became partially responsible for. My father-in-law is not well and can no longer live on his own. This has put stress on the entire family and my husband became a key decision maker for his Dad, making decisions he doesn’t want to make. It is frustrating and unfair, but we were dealing with it one day at a time.

Then the dog started to decline and I had hoped she would make it until Christmas, but she just couldn’t. She had had a bad back leg for years so when she started limping on her front leg I figured she strained it trying to get up. Then the swelling came and she could barely walk and would cry out. The vet confirmed our worst fears – bone cancer in her shoulder.

We knew what was best for her and as heartbreaking as it was we decided to put her to sleep and to end her pain and suffering. It was the hardest thing I have had to do and my boys are so sad. Jay and I don’t even know what to do without her. There is something incredibly comforting about walking in your house and being greeted by a dog that is always, no matter what kind of shitty day you’ve had, happy to see you.

I will miss her forever. She was that good of a dog.

As we are still reeling from that and trying to deal as a family with that loss, we needed to drop my car off to get the brakes replaced. The guy thought it would be around $300 and although I wasn’t thrilled with spending this money so close to Christmas, we will travel a lot in the next couple of weeks and I would really like my car to stop.

You can see where this is going, right? Stomach flu, sick family member, and dead dog…yeah we got the call that the car would be over $900 to fix. (Cue the sound of me curling up and dying here.)

So $940 later we pick up my car and the guy informs us that there is something wrong with one of my tires as well and it needs to be looked at immediately. At this point I am thinking someone is fucking with me, because really? No one person deserves this much on their plate in this few of days. We head to the tire store where I thankfully have a warranty on my tires since they cost more than my children to get the tire replaced which they were able to do  2 HOURS LATER. In case you didn't notice I was fresh out of patience at this point.

My mother-in-law graciously kept the boys for a sleep over so Jay & I could get some last minute shopping and errands done and we spent most of it at the tire place and visiting his Dad. Zero fun.

We did manage to swing through Target at rapid speed to pick up the bike for Jack and the scooter for Joey that Santa is bringing. We felt good about our purchases and then on Sunday morning I open the Target ad and see said bike AND scooter on sale for significant discounts and I feel like I am getting laughed at, mocked even, by the Target ad.

Nothing is going our way. Everything feels difficult. I my trying desperately to hold my shit together for the kids but just about everything is making me feel sad, miss my dog and I am teetering on the verge of a break down. We all feel miserable and now, thanks to my car, broke.

When it rains it doesn’t just pour, it f'ing monsoons on my ass.

I called Sunday a day after grocery shopping the last of our money away. When did my kids start eating so much anyway? I decided I needed to hit the couch during naptime. I saw that Top Gun was on and thought, whew a little boy eye candy, don’t mind if I do. Except, of course, I turned it on right at the scene where Goose dies.

Cue the sobbing and crying all over again.

It only continued to get worse as Joey woke up at 3am that night having an asthma attack that has led to doctors visits (although thankfully not hospital visits) round the clock nebulizer treatments and steroids. My already strong-willed three-year old on steroids…oh the joy!

It’s as if the universe is fucking with me and I give up. If you need me I will be in bed, head under the covers crying…after I stop at Target and get my price adjustment, of course.