Winning and Losing

There are no winners in marriage.

I know that sounds bad, but it is the honest to God truth. I am speaking from experience. I am part of a marriage that generally "keeps score." You know what I mean, I changed the last poopy diaper so it's your turn or I got up last, you get him this time. You went out last night so tonight is my night "off" from baths and bedtime. This is my weekend to sleep in because last weekend you stayed in bed until 9:30 uninterrupted (which is totally like noon in parents time.)

So yeah, in my life and marriage there is a whole lotta keeping score. I feel entitled to something, like a night off or a break from the kids and my husband feels the same. He thinks it is his turn.

I will tell you the facts. My husband is an incredible Dad and an awesome husband. I don't want to brag but he probably puts your husband to shame. He does A LOT around here, for me and the boys. He is present and participating in our family life more than most Dad's I know.

Another fact: He will still never one-up me on the score card because come on, I, as a mom, do more of the crap jobs around the house and with the kids than he ever does. This is apparently just the way the world works. Life is not fair but at least I win.

For instance, tonight when he was relaxing watching football and hanging out with Jack discussing why we can't cheer for the Packers, ever, I am coloring and decorating feathers with Joey for his Indian hat project for school. No big deal you say, the decorating involved glitter glue. I WIN.

Jason and I have been known to play rock, paper, scissors for most of the keeping score type things in life. Picking up the dog poop on the walk, rochambeau. Changing diapers back in the day, rochambeau. It is as fair as any score-keeping method could be and I never, ever, win. It is like Jason has some sort of special voodoo rock, paper, scissor magical powers. He gets in my head and I choke at the last second.

Even when the score says I win, I still lose. We are both pretty competitive so winning is important to both of us. The longer we are married the more I am getting used to just taking one for the team. The important thing is I know I am winning and deep down inside he knows it too.

He just doesn't want to admit he's being beat by a girl.

So although neither of us can really win in this marriage, it is still game on around here and I'm bringing my A-game.