Selfish?


I wouldn’t describe myself as selfish. I mean I have two kids and often use the bathroom with one of them in the room with me, if not both. I know selfish people. The real, honest to God, I only care about you if you are talking about me kind of people. I am not that girl.

That is not to say I don’t have selfish tendencies or desires because, well, everyone does. So I want things for myself and I do things for myself sometimes without putting other people first. I know, the shame of it all!

When you are a wife and a mom your “me” time ends up being such a small percentage of your overall life time. I really believe that in order to get any time at all you need to take it when you can, schedule it and hold it sacred. It is this time that can keep a person sane. There are already enough times throughout the month, week, day, hell, hour when I am losing my shit going all “mean mommy” on my kids. I don’t think it is bad to take a break, for myself.

I am aware some people don’t get this and judge my decisions to do this. By me going to the gym and dropping my kids in the play area while I workout, or even by leaving them home with their Dad, I get criticized. If I have a hair appointment and haven’t been in 8 weeks, I get criticized. Dinner out with my friends, once a month? I hear about it. I am reminded that if I was home more I could stay on top of things like housework, homework, cooking and making sure my kids weren’t running wild. 

You didn’t know an hour or two away from your family a day could make you such a bad person, did you? Me either. What people don’t understand is that by taking care of myself both mentally and physically I am actually worth a lot more to my family. Me being frustrated by my kids and stressed out about the ins and outs of parenting AND working from home AND cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping and and AND - the list would never end, I am not a better person.

I need to take care of myself so I feel capable to take care of others, which is what I do all day long. I need to feel good about myself physically so that I am a happy person who feels healthy and loves herself so she can love others. If that makes me selfish, then I am guilty as charged.

BUT, and this is the key, but that also makes you ignorant for judging me.