Mother of the Year


This past weekend my sister, Doni, her husband, Chris, and my nephew, Cullen, came down to our house so Chris could help Jason finish tearing up our kitchen floor and then help him replace it with a shiny, nice, new one.

It was great, yet very chaotic, having them come spend the night especially with a few home improvement projects simultaneously occurring.

While Chris and Jay were busy destroying the kitchen, Doni and I painted the bricks around my fireplace white. They were an ugly dark brown and look so much brighter and cleaner now that they are a semi-gloss white.

Since my boys are completely bananas all most of the time on their own adding Cullen into the mix just added fuel to their fire. There were boys yelling and screaming, running up, down and everywhere they weren’t supposed to be running. There was a lot of peeing, sometimes in ones pants, but generally on my toilet seat and bathroom floor.

It was nuts. Sometimes a fun kind of nuts and sometimes a I am having a panic attack get them all out of here kind of nuts. Even though I was going bat-shit crazy, they were having a great time together. Playing like cousins should.

Now I know I have mentioned this before, but my son Joey is a special child. By special I mean devil-like complete with horns. He is NAUGHTY. He is also adorable and snuggly and a pain in my ass. This kid may be the one that sends me over the edge, let me tell you.

He has said his share of cuss words (yes, I know he is only two.) For those of you that know Jay & I, you probably aren’t shocked by this. We do try really hard to keep all profanity to a minimum when we are in front of the kids, but as you know, shit happens.

Joey has been using a few select swear words in proper context for a couple of months now. We have been diligently trying to nip this behavior in the bud before it turns into a habit because he is in preschool now and you know how judgey some of the teachers and other parents can be. It seems they frown upon swearing in preschool (they also frown upon choking of other children in case you were wondering.)

We would instantly (while hiding our giggles and smirks) discipline Joey whenever he said a bad word. This is hard because I dare you to try not to laugh when your kid yells, “Shit!” when his toy train runs off the track. It is funny. He is two and it sounds funny coming out of his little mouth. But still, we did it. We reprimanded him and have even put soap on his tongue. This has worked somewhat but every now and then he lets a swear word slip out – it is a work in progress.

So while Doni and I were painting the fireplace, Joey and Cullen were playing with a couple of toys on the floor behind me and it wasn’t long before Cullen snatched Joey’s toy away from him in true toddler fashion. This is what transpired:

Joey: “God Dammit Cullen that is mine!”

Cullen: “…”  *blank look on his face*

Joey: “What? Don’t you say God Dammit too?”

I had heard Joey say it and didn’t even get a chance to discipline him before he questioned Cullen about his confused look. Needless to say I was laughing hysterically which made following through with a punishment difficult.

I know, I know, I’m mother of the year. At least I am laughing!

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