Her Last Days

I haven't had time to write lately but boy, have I wanted to. Needed to. We are dealing with the worst thing people can deal with, families can deal with, a dying loved one. Jason's Grandma, who I love as if she is my Grandma, has come to the end of her life. She has been battling cancer for awhile now and we have exhausted all treatments and hospice has been called. Hospice nurses are some of the most lovely, brave, faithful people I have ever seen. I can't thank these nurses enough for the care and support they have offered not only Gram, but all of us. Truly kind people.

I have never had to watch a loved one die and it is far worse than I even thought it would be. I do believe it is harder on all of us as a family than it is for Gram as she tells us she is comfortable. She is content and calm and resting. I am distraught and sad and scared. They tell us it won't be long now - anywhere from hours to a few days and I am praying the time comes quickly for her sake (she is going somewhere amazing) and selfishly for mine. I sit with her and hold her hand and talk with her about nothing for hours all the while my heart breaking at the sight of her. Only a shell remains where a healthy body once was and she only communicates with a slight nod of her head where she used to have no trouble telling us her feelings. I miss her immensely already and she's not even really gone.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jana,
    I am very sorry to hear of the pain your family is going through. As I read your posting, tears filled my eyes as it brought back memories of watching my gma die. I could go on and on about how hard this time is for you and what feelings I know you must be feeling. I am glad she is comfortable, that is comforting to hear. I also know she appreciates having you there and others near her. It’s a time to rejoice in her long life and all that she’s accomplished, all the love she’s given, and what an amazing family she’s created. God bless her and your family.